We don’t have to look very far to see that Emotions Don’t Think. Various events where people get emotional and just react automatically are in the news every day. Emotions trigger automatic reactions in people without them thinking about whether their reaction is healthy or proper. They just react.
In front of millions of TV viewers, actor Will Smith spontaneously went on stage at the 2022 Academy Awards presentations, uninvited, appearing driven by his emotions, and smacked one of the presenters, Chris Rock, in the face. Apparently there had been a joke Chris made about his wife’s hair. This joke was in very poor taste. It turns out that this was a sensitive issue for Will Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, since Jada had developed a disease called alopecia where the person loses their hair. This would be a heartbreaking catastrophe for most of us, especially a person in the limelight, and even moreso for a beautiful woman in the limelight of movie stars. In fact, this is a disability, especially for a beautiful move star and it is natural for her husband to want to defend her. But not this way. This action was appalling.
Will let his emotions get the best of him. He could have known something like this joke was going to happen, and be prepared for it, especially at this type of prestigious award show. Comments at the Academy Awards shows by hosts and presenters, although usually in good taste, have been known to be crude and vulgar and insensitivity is not unknown. There are often sexual jokes, subtle putdowns or worse. So this would be predictable, but unjustified. When people have to deal with a sensitive topic, such as his wife’s challenge with alopecia, unfortunately they have to be ready to deal with crude jokes. Although it should not be expected, Will should not have been surprised at this type of occurrence and been ready to handle it. Unfortunately. At the same time Chris Rock could have known this was an issue and been sensitive in his comments, but sensitivity is not known to be a male attribute among male movie stars like these two who dabble in toxic masculinity.
People who make these types of jokes onstage are showing disrespect in the guise of comedy, as if they are tempting the receiver of the distasteful jokes to somehow handle it, in a juvenile attempt to test each other’s masculinity, in a way that some young male teenagers do. That is unfortunate because it could lead into this type of situation. I am not taking sides, although both are at fault, but Will is obviously more at fault in this issue, because, as I said, he was not prepared and handled it irresponsibly, showing a quasi – violent act in public. This was an opportunity, knowing he, as a movie star, would have had a chance to talk later, to talk about alopecia and the difficulty he and his wife were going through. That would be a sensitive, mature thing to do. In general, society needs to be more sensitive about issues such as a person’s appearance and be prepared to handle unfortunate comments or actions.
Actually there are quick thoughts a person has that trigger the anger. The individual feels vulnerable and an automatic defense is to fight the aggressor. One of the regular automatic thoughts a person has that triggers a fighting reaction is “I’m going to teach them a lesson they’ll never forget”, referring to fighting them, dominating them and beating them up so badly that they are in terrible pain or are disfigured or disabled for the rest of their life. That is pure revenge and the only lesson it teaches is that violence is the answer. No, violence kills. It is never an answer.
We can learn from this since far worse has happened when people are joked about when the “victim” of the joke or their spouse or friend get angry and become aggressive, even violent or murderous in retaliation. Anticipating such an action (which is different from expecting it to happen) is important in preparing our reaction. At any moment, something unfortunate could happen which will test us, and knowing that emotions don’t think we need to be ready to let our mind handle it., The best way to do so is to anticipate situations and how to handle them, what to say, how to say it, what to do, what not to do.
We can not expect someone to handle a difficult situation perfectly, especially when emotional. Although Will handled it very poorly, he is human and prone to mistakes. But practicing it beforehand, anticipating possible unfortunate events, and how it would be handled, it is a wise choice, in the even that it does happen. Will could have said in a later interview that he was sorry that such a joke had been made, considering the sensitive issue that was being addressed, that he felt hurt, and he could have explained what alopecia was and how difficult it is for he and his wife to handle it. But that is difficult to say in public, because it is emotional. But preparing to say something like that is difficult. And topics like this trigger emotions in public and make people liable to quickly take sides and blame one part or the other in strong ways, rather than looking at how things can be improved, on both sides. We are talking about human beings here, who have feelings and sensitivities, and it is important to show both sides kindness and compassion. Compassion is not weak. It is strength.